I Hate Bigots.

I live where someone actually posted this to a newspaper today:

"I AM SO PROUD TO BE A WHITE BLOND COUNTRY AMERICAN SOUTHERN WOMAN!! YOU ARE IGNORANT IF YOU DO NOT VOTE FOR YOUR OWN RACE!"

I went off.

Ultimately I was dogging two response boards in the Fort Myers News-Press,; I wrote this for one and liked it so much I posted it to the other:

"McCain is a war hero. I respect that. I do not respect the hateful tactics he has resorted to, his blatant disrespect of his opponent and his choice of Palin, who is allowed to fuel the fires of their mobs.

His supporters are mostly white - which is NOT what this country is. (Look around you and get over it.)

My choice treats his opponent with respect, his VP does not incite hatred and his loyal supporters do not send emails with dead and aborted babies. His supporters come in every color of the rainbow. And that is what this country is.

A vote for McCain is a vote for an old guy who cannot survive this level of stress. So then, imagine President Palin and the First Dude.

Does the world respect us now? Imagine what it would think of us with them in charge.

Get real. "

An hour later, not another peep out of either response board. It's a Friday ... maybe the bigots are belly-up at the tiki bars.

Nearly a Decade Later

Ten years ago I was with my ex husband (and crew) bringing a boat up from Florida via the intracoastal. We stopped in South Carolina and were walking from the marina to a restaurant; I was in the lead and an old black man was approaching from the other direction.

When he looked up, he stepped off onto the street so the white woman wouldn't have to share the sidewalk. Memory of that image still hits me hard. When I vote this weekend, I'm going to think about that man - and this one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW-6DpC-mj8

For dessert - that "Wassup" beer campaign ... eight years later.
http://creativity-online.com/work/view?seed=682a505c

The Weak in Review (Typo intended.)

Halloween used to be my favorite holiday. I am at work. My viking helmet with yellow braids is out in the car in case I get festive ... or we start drinking early.

I don't think I'll get into the spirit of things until after the election.

Was driving in morning before last and some idiot was on the "sign corner", Six Mile Cypress & 41. Apparently this intersection is where you go when you have something important to tell the world.

Or local traffic.

Some months back - when Officer Andrew Widman was killed by a Cuban criminal who had slipped through the system - the cops were on every corner with signs. People were honking in support of our police force and the outflow of compassion for Widman's family BLEW ME AWAY.

I thought "I have moved to a place with heart."

At work, I told the girls and one sat on the floor with the newspaper article about his widow and small children. She cried. That's how we are. We give a shit.

But the other morning there was a jackass with a giant "Nobama!" sign. I had a mascara wand in one hand and steering wheel in the other; still, I managed to flip him off without losing control of the vehicle.

I told the girls at work. Our new Jamaican model (I love her, she's awesome) said "He might have tracked you down and hurt you" and I said "the newspapers would read 'McCain Supporter Kicks Ass of South Fort Myers Grandmother" and I would be fine with that.

"Grandmother" sounds so innocuous. Snort. I am the world's worst Buddhist. Maybe I can return to that peaceful place after the election ...

My day doesn't usually end well when a flipped bird is my first public act; but that one did. Wound up at a very nice dinner at Bonefish after a wine tasting around the corner. Some of us needed a little sobering up.

Damned if two from our group aren't extremely bright Republicans. I sat there thinking (note commendable restraint) Republicans are either wealthy, fundamentalist zealots or stupid.

These two have been very political for a very long time, while I am a neophyte. When they attacked, I knew I was in over my head. I finally said "Insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results."

To my surprise, that shut them down.

One of the Republican guys DID say something really interesting. "It seems like all intelligent women hate Palin."

It was a fun night, AWESOME crabcakes, superb service and no raised voices or bloodshed. Most important, I managed to get out for less than $20 with a nice tip. God money is so tight.
Yesterday I lived on fiber bars - that's all I had at home.

Needed to leave work a little early due to unanticipated bloat.

Last night I made Mexican Wedding Balls for our company Halloween party ... those little round white cookies with butter, nuts and confectioner's sugar. Dropped the bag in my kitchen and it exploded into a white cloud that looked like the final desk scene in Scarface.

I was up cleaning past midnight ...

Feelings of Pending Doom

This doesn't happen very often.

Yesterday I was overcome with a feeling of dread, so I headed to the beach and went for a very long walk. The sunshine and the waves made it all OK ...

until this morning. Three of us walked in with black clouds.

One, who is extremely intuitive, said "I have a feeling something bad is going to happen."

It's one thing to have the darkness myself. It's another to have intuitive friends have it as well.

I hope it all passes without incident.

NO MORE DEAD BABY EMAILS!!!

(Major profanity alert.)

I have bitched about this before. The second Palin came on the scene, a born again friend sent me an email filled with dead and aborted babies.

She must have heard I am pro-Obama. In her head, that makes me a baby killer. (??!)

Her first email arrived around the time Caribou Barbie's approval of aerial hunting made news in the animal rights community.

She and I are both members of that community; we would both go to jail on behalf of an animal.

At least that's what I thought.

I liked that about her. "Liked" being the operative word.

Apparently Palin's Evangelical Bible Thumping has erased all horrors against four legged souls. The first email she sent gave no clue to the bloodbath within. I opened it first thing on a Monday morning. She was smart enough to not include me with her entire email list because she knew I would get angry and REPLY ALL.

So this morning I get ANOTHER email from her with "Pro Life Video" in the subject line.

Her message read "The risk of losing another's friendship by sending this video, is far outweighed by the truth. I cannot & will not deny the truth..."

Will you deny my right to ask you to STF up???

Why don't you send this shit to people who have abortions? I'd actually be OK with that. But I'm six years past hot flashes - leave me TF alone. And nothing you send will diminish my admiration for Barack Obama.

In fact, shit like this increases it because I realize what we're up against.

FANATICS.

I didn't open the video. I wrote:

"I am pro-choice not because I have ever had or WOULD have ever had an abortion (I would not) - but because I have NO FUCKING RIGHT TO TELL SOME OTHER WOMAN WHAT TO DO WITH HER WOMB.

It's not about abortion here Christine, because the people who want them will still get them. I object to any group that tries to tell me what the fuck to do with decisions that are PERSONAL."

On the Cusp of Impressionable and Inappropriate

There was this thing on NPR the other day about "The Gossip Girls" - two women discussing how we should feel about impressionable young girls being exposed to casual sex and vomit soaked hair. (In my day there was always somone ready to hold it back for you.)

Anyway, they mentioned some miniscule statistic about how many young ladies (I use the term loosely) are swayed by seeing this level of decadence on TV. I think they said "5%".

I say bullshit. I'm thinking more like 60%. If it's on TV and presented as normal, the viewer is going to start accepting it as a natural part of life.

Case in point.

I have a friend my age who has been living a boring existence. A year ago I turned her onto "Weeds", my favorite Showtime premium series about an upper middle class woman whose husband dies. In order to support her sons after his death, she turns to a life of ... is it crime or misdemeanor?

She starts selling pot and has to rely on sources in the black community to teach her the ways. It is effin hilarious.

Anyway, since being exposed to the program my friend has BECOME the main character. No wait - she's just the opposite because in "Weeds" the main character deals, she doesn't smoke. My friend just smokes, doesn't deal. So far as I know.

She blames it on the economy.

Last Friday I was out with another friend (my age), and some white haired guy with the underbite of an overbred Pekingese was hitting on her. He pretended to be hard-of-hearing so he could put his cheek on her right breast and his beak down her cleavage.

She was enjoying the attention. Sometimes bad attention is better than no attention. At one point he asked her if she wore a thong. And she was aghast.

So he looked at me and said "what are you guys, GRANDMAS"?

This from a guy who could play Santa if he let his beard grow out. What a jagoff. I nearly whipped out my wallet to show him photos of my granddaughters, but instead I asked him "do YOU wear one?"

And he acted like that notion was ridiculous.

So I said "you have to have a perfect ass to wear a thong." And I thought ...

You have to be one to ask.

Just Answer the Goddamned Question

Couric asking Palin what she reads (watch for the Happy Ending)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07kO9TtHYzQ

The person from the past who most reminds me of Palin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

An Open Letter to pro-McCain Born Again Christian Fundamentalists

I don't know how I got on this particular email list. It was obviously fundamentalist Christian and I'm pretty sure the woman who sent the Obama smear copied and pasted it from something else. There's not that much original thought out there these days.

So I wrote the woman "please take me off your email list." Then I started a slow steam and decided to "reply all" to everyone on her list:

"I thought McCain was a good man when he first started running. He is (was) a man of honor. He is part of our history.

But his behavior in these debates has been rude and difficult to watch. Age also has honor - except that he is incredibly out of touch. He makes outdated references to "Hoover" - most people don't think "past president", they think "vacuum."

His age is cause for alarm because this grueling campaign will diminish his health. Imagine what the actual role of PRESIDENT will do. He gets more gray every day.

I am not ready for President Palin and The First Dude. I could have tolerated McCain as president, but NEVER with her second in command. From the animal pelts hanging on the walls of her office to her permission to shoot wolves and bear by airplane, she flies in the face of compassion.

She is a rabble rouser who stirs throngs to shouts of "hang him" - "kill Obama."

Those of you who are Christian ... where in the Bible do you find the scripture that says it's OK to incite this level of hatred against anyone, let alone another Christian?

Obama is Christian; maybe he does not wear your exact brand of Christianity.

Those of you who believe those who aren't of your exact brand are going to hell ... I can't even respond to how I feel about that. I am ENRAGED. You are not the boss of me!!! You will NEVER BE the boss of me!! She is one of you and I will have no part of it.

This nation needs to come together to fix this mess, not divide by faith. Those of you who don't like the fact that he's black. He's also half white and when he accepted his party's nomination he thanked his white grandmother for pouring everything she had into him.

As a mom of a Navy veteran and a proud grandmother whose own life hero was her own grandmother (who also poured her soul into ME ) I'm voting for the man with heart, with an intact first wife and first family, someone who will help us get our world respect back.

I see HOPE in his being both black and white.

I am especially sick of the ugly, 1950's racist undertones that are manifest in the Republican campaign. Look around you. This country is more than black and white - it is brown and Asian and ... Jewish and Muslim and Buddhist and so many things. I love the differences, I think they make us BETTER.

You can vote to pull us all together as one intelligent, informed society or you can vote for more 1950s small-mindedness.

In response to the original email, THAT'S what I call scary.

I did not copy and paste this response. It is not part of some chain. This is from MY HEART.

If we do not embrace change we are doomed.

We're being asked to wear our Obama buttons!

I was meeting Gina at Leapin' Lizards in Cape Coral; we haven't seen each other in a year.

She and Rusty are no longer an item. She has been "single" for six months and said tonight was the first time she's been out in all that time.

The place was hoppin'. Almost immediately Gina went off on this unprovoked anti-Palin tangent. Her rage was amazing, it was like sitting across from myself. She told me our mutual friend, Bible-thumping judgey Christine has been sending her pro-life anti-Obama email assaults. I told Gina about the dead and aborted baby email she sent me.

A few minutes ago I sent Gina this great link; hopefully she'll pass it on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DIc8jdra0o

I was going to just include Christine in the email, but that would be overtly pissy. Subtle is more fun.

It wasn't until about 10 that the Obama button started having some effect on the patrons. But the reactions weren't what I expected. I got nods and smiles. Holy crap.

One guy did come up, all arrogant, and said "Oh, so you like BLACK guys?" And the way he said it was insulting. I'm sure he thought he'd rattle me, I'm told I look like such a sweet, demure person.

So I satup a little straighter, looked him straight in the eyes and said "Yeah, as a matter of fact I do."

Gina told me the fundamentalists consider Obama to be the antichrist. I confessed to Gina that I secretly believe in Jesus (and the Buddha and other representatives of God on earth) but I'm too embarrassed to admit it because I refuse to be associated with control freak fundamentalist jackasses.

The sad thing is their behavior reflects poorly on some genuinely wonderful people.

Strange times. Strange times indeed.

Imagine President Palin ... (This is brilliant.)

(The photo is from an anti-Palin rally in Alaska.)

OK, this is fun:

Use the link below -
click on all items in the room....
open and close the door 3 times...
and open the windows before you answer the red phone ;)

http://palinaspresident.com/

The Last Debate; Complacency is the Enemy

The debate Wednesday at the Metro in Fort Myers was very nice ... but it was a fraction of the people who attended the second debate.

I asked my friends why; they thought maybe other Obama-ites feel we have it "in the bag".

No, we can't rest until this thing is DONE.

Anyhoo, after McCain's third "performance" (and behaviors since) I actually feel sorry for him.

Wink News was there at the Metro ... if interviewed afterwards I would have said "McCain is history. Obama will MAKE history." I don't mean McCain "is history" in that he's toast; which is not to say that he isn't. I mean that he has a true place in it.

But Obama will go on to greater things. He has the youth, vision and ability. With him as president, we will regain the world's respect. Maybe we will respect ourselves again.

Speaking of which - there McCain goes, digging himself in deeper every day. The "Arab" remark - something like "no ma'am, he is not an Arab. He's an upstanding family man." As if Arabs aren't. Holy crap fella. One of the most important people in my life was Arab - he was an incredible family man who just about adopted me and acted for many years as a father figure.

And then McCain referenced Hoover. As Grandma would say, "Criminy!"

These days, when people hear "Hoover" they think "vacuum".

On the personal side, there's a lot to be said for keeping a dream diary; they're better than shrinks for telling us what hasn't healed yet.

Last night I was half awake half the night from nightmares of past wounds. I rarely have nightmares; these so intense there was no need to write them down. I was reliving the worst events of the last three years.

I remember some years back I went to lunch with my mother, aunt and Gram; my aunt looked at me and said "you've had a really hard life."

Hell, that was YEARS before it got hard.

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

For seven years I told the exBF he needed to get on the internet.

On a good day I would tell him he was perfect for technology - smart and logical, he would be able to finesse his way through the nooks and crannies of cyberspace as deftly as he wields dual remotes in his quest to conquer Comcast programming.

On a bad day I told him he was a fucking dinosaur.

So about eight months since my last packin' we're talking (on the phone) again and I notice his reactions have changed. Like he knows stuff I don't know he knows.

As if he had somehow managed to go online and find this blog and everything I ever wrote online. And damned if that isn't exactly what he did.

He didn't listen to me for the past three years, but apparently he has read every word of my online rants and heart-dumps as I poured my angst out into the great unknown.

Tonight he said I'm coming off as ... can't remember the word ... as a maniac, obviously new to the world at large and politics in particular and fairly venomous when it comes to McSame and Saracuda.

And he's right. And I apologize for being every bit as obnoxious as the Republican candidates.

I was at Publix the night of the debate. I had just come from yoga ... not pleased with yoga, our instructor du-jour ... du-evening ... had us TOUCHING strangers.

I remember the first time we were told to lie on our backs with arms extended and grab a stranger's ankles; as the stranger slowly inched back. It was SO creepy.

But wow, what a nice stretch.

Well, the other night it was a back and lungs manipulation wherein we were feeling up the shoulder blades of total strangers, pressing and separating. We were arranged by height. My partner was even poofier than me and I couldn't find hers. So I had to fake it, using bra-strap indentations as guides.

I walked away creeped out. And in a little pain from resting my back on a wood block during one of the poses.

So I'm at Publix afterwards and I'm in the checkout - buying all healthy stuff - and get to talking to the checkout lady. She said she was going away and I said where and she said Michigan and I said OOH, where - I'm from there. And she tells me Grosse Pointe and Armada and we are OFF, yacking, and she forgets to give me my $20 in cash back and I had forgotten to put all my stuff onto the turny thing. So after a manager checked her tray to make sure I wasn't doing a scam on the cash, I paid her the cash for the stuff I hadn't paid for.

And we never stopped talking.

I finally told her I had to hurry home for the debates. She said she was recording it. And she leaned forward and whispered "who are you for?" And I said OBAMA. And she sqwoonched her face. And I'm getting gentler lately, a little more sensitive. I told her I think I could POSSIBLY tolerate that old fuck (I didn't say that) if it weren't for Palin. (I did say that.)

She was shocked I don't like Palin. (Don't like is an understatement.) And before she could ask why I said "I'm sort of an animal rights person." And she understood immediately. She said "well, I like you anyway. " And I said "oh ditto!"

And it was fun and I remember her name and it will be good to see her again. We live fairly close to each other in South Fort Myers. I suspect she's a little older than me, working two jobs - teacher by day, checkout lady by night.

Man, does life suck. She said "65 hours a week is what it takes to get by in these days." Between work and creating cheap websites, I'm about there. It is exhausting.

ONE BAG OF GROCERIES WAS THIRTY EIGHT DOLLARS. Where was I when the price of groceries DOUBLED? I don't eat meat ... we're talking soup and veggies. Holy crap.

OK, yeah, one really big bottle of wine.

The exBF is complaining his retirement fund is down 30%. I told him a lot of us don't have ANYTHING to anticipate beyond becoming a burden to our kids.

This week I told a guy friend what "the girls" talked about at brunch a few Sundays ago. We're all 50s & 60s. Wow, that sounds so old. So weird to be suddenly old. Well, I'm not going to take that for an excuse to start being mature now.

We talked about the type of woman who would go to CinCin and find a rich old guy to hook up with. And we talked about what a great deal it is for the rich old guy - so much cheaper than assisted living or a nursing home.

My friend Judy said "wives have always been cheap help."

I was telling this single guy friend about it. He couldn't relate from either end of the scenario, from the woman who would allow herself to be married help or the man who would need the help. ?? Anyone who acknowledges their mortality wonders who WILL take care of them. I told him at this age you're either going to be a burden for someone else or they will be your burden. Better to go alone gently into this sweet night. (I'm sure I butchered that.)

I was looking up great quotes today at work and found one by Virginia Woolf. I didn't know enough about her, so I looked her up. She committed suicide by filling her pockets with pebbles and walking into the river to drown herself. She didn't want to be a burden. She left a love note to her husband that he would be better off without her.

I think in Catholocism you are doomed to hell or purgatory or something if you off yourself. In Buddhism you're going to be reincarnated, so what's the point.

If you're a redneck, you may experience reintarnation. Which brings me to Mike Scott, Fort Myers (or Lee County) Sheriff who introduced Barack as "Barack HUSSEIN Obama".
http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2008/10/06/politics/fromtheroad/entry4504484.shtml

Great way to get us in the national news. Aren't we proud.

I thought he was sort of hot until I read that. He would be totally hot if he had eyebrows and a conscience.

Intellectually he's the same as sumo thong cop, the exBF's detective buddy whose obnoxious behaviors hastened my departure.

I read the article about Scott referring to Barack as Barack HUSSEIN and got fired up. The response list was growing in leaps and bounds as I posted "He is guilty of INNUENDO; he's a smart man who knows he will influence the thoughts of actions of those who are less intelligent."

Then I went back to read the responses to date. They were so juvenile, so many typos, rebel flags, bigotry ... I went back and wrote "Do you people realize that the nation - no, the WORLD is reading this? Do we REALLY want to come off like a bunch of hairy shouldered knuckle dragging rednecks?"

No, I didn't post it - I deleted it because I'm afraid one of them will track me down and beat the shit out of me. Or Scott's cop buddies will start targeting distracted blondes with small dogs and Obama stickers. Who sleep with the TV on.

This morning I woke to stories of parents dropping TEENAGERS off at a hospital that had been accepting "children" without questions so BABIES wouldn't get dropped in dumpsters. My mother has told stories of my great aunt leaving her only son at foster homes during times like these.

They're not even calling this a RECESSION yet?

At work we had a meeting and clearly we still have plenty of clients counting on us. We were "brainstorming" (on the cusp of yelling and hammering on the table) when a particularly lame concept was presented. I leaned over to my favorite account exec and whispered "that's the equivalent of a marketing reach-around".

She snorted with laughter.

Everyone is tense. Laughter is a precious commodity. One of our guys was outside looking particularly depressed. I said if business falls apart "there are worse things than helping take care of your parents as they age and your grandchildren as they grow."

Every day I wonder where will I go if/when I lose my job. Will I be able to stay here? Will I have enough webwork to survive? Research shows websites will be even more important to those of us who will have to shift into survival mode.

I could move up north to live with family except that I can't take the cold - and heat is costing my parents FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH. That's more than half my mortgage. In Florida I can nearly turn off the air for most of the year and I used my heat exactly once last winter.

Let me end this with what I'm thankful for.

I am thankful for ...

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert
My job
Where I live
That my family is good - those who need jobs have them, those who are retired are well set
The lunatics I work with
Being in touch with the exBF again
The two friends who told me they want me to live with them if I ever need a place to go
The gorgeous woodland storks that are showing up in South Fort Myers again
And the big white SUV that stopped next to me on Summerlin to block traffic and save a LARGE turtle. (The woman's daughter hopped out and carried it back to the slough.) She said he was really heavy.

I was going to block traffic until he made it all the way across all six lanes. God, I am an idiot sometimes. Maybe one of Sheriff Scott's cops would have caught me and ...

Well that poor turtle had his head and legs tucked into his shell hoping for the best in oncoming traffic.

Don't we all know THAT feeling.

Hopefully the universe holds more big white SUVs and people who care.