From plastic soup to recycling plastics... and people.

If this photo doesn't break your heart, you don't have one.

I watched PBS last night for two hours - I would have been better off watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It was two hours of why lions and elephants are disappearing and why birds in remote areas are dying. Why there is "plastic soup" in areas of our oceans that should be pristine.

I couldn’t track down the PBS program, but I did find part of the information they used:

http://patagonia-under-siege.blogspot.com/2008/01/plastic-killing-fields-pacific-ocean.html

I found the photo on that blog.

Search “plastic soup.” Spread the word!!!

I vow to be even more attentive to purchasing only recyclables and recycling everything I can. I will drink from glasses, not plastic bottles. I will get my groceries in paper bags and recycle those. I am already riding my bike for short errands.

None of it seems like it’s nearly enough.

Carl – the vulture we rescued last week – didn’t make it. The doctor at Crow Wildlife Rescue on Sanibel explained that the infection from the broken wing was too great. That he’d had a few good meals, pain management and loving care. She thanked us and said there weren’t many who’d go to all that trouble for a vulture.

He was a soul. He was suffering. We did what was right. We’re sad.

Speaking of sad. Got weak before Christmas and - after many months apart - I walked back into the big strong arms of my favorite emotionally abusive alcoholic. Of course it didn’t last. Of course I'm back at square one.

I left him during a blackout last month and still feel a little guilty. Well, hell - it'll give him something to obsess. A reason to drink.

I suspect bipolar as well, since I can almost see a cloud passing over him, transforming him from fun and charming to moody with rage.

This time I refuse to hole up and mourn. That’s so stupid. So much of the pain is more loneliness than loss.

Went out with a shrink earlier this month. Brilliant guy – warm – a little too intense. Gave me a bit of a tic, but it’s so hard to find people who are capable of intelligent conversation. I just held my finger on it. (The tic.)

We met at Starbucks twice. He came on fast, intense … I listened to my vibes this time, kept a distance and even backed off at one point - cancelling a date. I said I had vibes that there was someone else in the picture.

He believes in vibes and intuition. That's a rare quality, one of the things I liked about him.

He called me a week later, in the morning, as if he had something urgent to tell me. My vibes were right … he met someone else … wanted me to know, made a big point of it. He sounded surprised (disappointed?) when I told him I was very happy for him and wished him the best.

This was sincere, I really didn’t care. I wasn't staring at my cell phone, I was having fun with friends last weekend.

He seemed like a lot of work.

OK. How big is the ego of someone who expects an acquaintance to be crushed after a coupla coffees? He didn’t even need to call, it was sort of annoying.

Maybe I’m destined to be alone for the rest of this lifetime.

Maybe that’ll be just fine.

My biggest fear is I'll die alone in the condo and no one will know to take care of my dogs.

Buzzard Rescue

(From last Thursday ...)

We spotted a "turkey buzzard" at the office last week and tried to catch it. Pretty big bird. He appeared to have an injured wing.

I have a friend - a guy - who works at Fort Myers airport with other guys. The airport is virtually across the main road from here. I emailed asking if he had any critter rescue people over there and he wrote back "hey - when we find wild animals, we don't call writers."

I snapped back "oh, I forgot you were one of the boys who was throwing rocks at clumps of grass in the twilight because you thought they were an alligator."

Somewhere during the emailing, the bird disappeared. We hoped he flew home.

He was large. I'm guessing he had a 5' wingspan.

Saw him again today, still walking ... much weaker. We were able to capture him after much screaming and thrashing. (Us.) Four of us chased him around the building ... then three of us cornered him, one threw a blanket towel over his head (it had a giant parrot on it, which some considered humorous) and put it in a big box.

People from the other offices had their noses pressed against the glass.

Rescuers included me, an account person and a media buyer. All female. The guy account person split mid-capture - the bird scared him. The boss gave us a look like he truly believed we were insane. He said "you know that's a vulture, right?!"

Yeah, we knew. We also discovered vultures smell like shit.

I drove him to the Crow sanctuary on Sanibel for repairs. It's about a 40 minute drive from work - www.crowclinic.org/ He was banging around in the box making me really nervous the whole way there.

I prayed my coworker had the box properly taped, I did not want to have him loose in my tiny Saturn. Apparently he had never been in a car before.

I mumbled Buddhist chants (with the occasional gross profanity) while driving. That actually seemed to calm him down a bit. Except for the profanity part.

Dropped him off, filled out the necessary intake forms and we hope they can fix him. Crow thanked me profusely for bringing him in. He has a patient number so we can check on him.

Back at the office I was running late for a big meeting. I made up jokes all the way back to the office about "flipping them the bird", "winging it", "eating crow" etc. Non-rescuing co-workers scoffed me upon my return.

Some horrible nickname may come from all this. "Buzzard Whisperer" or "Vulture Chanter" or something.

Then I had gung pao chicken for lunch, which felt sort of hypocritical.