Roam for the Holidays

Mapquest lies. 1,100 miles my ass. From South Fort Myers to Grass Lake, Michigan is 1,350 miles. It doesn’t sound like much until you hit the last 100 miles bleary eyed in a darkness broken only by the orange glow of the “Service Engine Soon” light.

While much of the drive is lovely, this adventure totally beat the shit out of me. I may limp home in three days with two nights in hotels. The nice thing about driving is you're not stuck with a specific schedule or how much you can take.

Sunday was day two - Calhoun, Georgia to Grass Lake. Gas was about $2.79 per gallon in Florida; in all other states it was much less, about $2.45. I think that’s pure spite; don't hate us for our beaches and palm trees.

Have you ever noticed detours only happen when your gas tank is empty and your bladder is full? I-75 is closed in Cincinnati … it would be nice if they had a few signs that warned you about that. And their roads are pitted like lunar landscape. After I managed my way past the detour, it became an endurance run.

I was so excited about seeing family and friends again that I didn’t sleep well for two nights before leaving. I’ve been here 24 hours. Even after a good night’s sleep on fleece Barbie sheets (and one long nap 3’ from the wood burning stove) I’m completely fried.

In hindsight, am thankful that:

I only got run off the road once.
The car held up just fine.
Bodhi only partially released her anal gland on my jeans.
I’m in a position to snarf up a fresh (not frozen) White Castle or two.
I can also pick up a Red Wings tee for cheap.

It’s great to be with family, taking shit from the son and daughter-in-law, enjoying the granddaughters, meeting their friends, delighting in one big goofy lab, my two girls and two 6 month old kittens. It’s a hoot.

Went to a dance recital tonight – hip hop - taught by a tight young blonde with a thick pony tail, short-shorts and shiny pantyhose with wide runs. Her students - mostly white - looked like a cross between Lord of the Dance and Bring It.

Attending a ballet recital tomorrow, partying with first love, his daughter and her partner Friday night/Saturday morning, then first ex and his third wife at the Grass Lake winery on Saturday night.

Should be a great time with lots of surprises in between.