Friday, November 6, 2009

How can I be so stupid?


When we're stressed, we forget the good things.

This was my view Wednesday afternoon from a friend's boat out on the "Miserable Mile" between the Caloosahatchee River and the Gulf of Mexico.

I forget I'm in fucking paradise.

Well, it was hot as hell for months. But it's beautiful now. I actually had to pull out a turtleneck to hit the beach tonight. I was laughed at, of course; until people grabbed my hands and found they were like ice.

The locals were in sweatshirts and the tourists were in beachwear - but there are no strangers. Everyone is there for the same reason - to hang out, make friends and have fun.

And there's more stuff I've forgotten. Maybe the summer heat seared it all out of my brain ...

This is where people come to let go.

The people here have great nicknames. Minnesota Diane and Bible Jim ...

Fort Myers Beach is a warm, friendly reunion at this time of year.

Within the past five hours ...

Bible confessed the girl he took to prom had a sex change operation shortly thereafter. He made fun of his stroke, saying he can still play with nipples but he can't flip people off without using both hands.

Someone thought he had a rip in the back of his shorts so he turned around, dropped them and bent over. (No rip, but quite a view. A few random screams.)

A large group of quasi-inebriated folk endured/enjoyed karaoke night at the Lighthouse Tiki Bar - a mix of everything from the ridiculous to the sublime.

I sat at "the Michigan table" with friends who hail from there but would literally rather die than return year-round.

There was a good-natured rivalry between Michigan and Ohio as someone sang "Sweet Home Alabama - Summertime in Michigan."

A wealthy gentleman sat there and said there was great money to be made in this economy if you know what you're doing with stocks. (Expressing his theories in some detail.)

A very large man in his 30s talked about his recent diabetes diagnosis. Says when his doctor put him on a 1300 calorie diet, he told him "hell, I SPILL more than that."

A young couple who had married on the beach earlier today danced their first dance at the Lighthouse Tiki Bar. The bride had tears in her eyes - as did most of the women who formed a large appreciative circle around them. It didn't end there.

A lunatic from Minnesota got caught up in the moment, grabbed the mic and asked the DJ to play "Amore" - "when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore" ... and most everyone sang. It was like a scene from Mama Mia.

How does a wild-ass beach tiki bar become the setting for a real live musical?

A woman in her 70s danced shamelessly with younger men - as if she were 50 years younger - and nobody laughed or judged. (Although several men hid.)

The photo of a man everyone knew - who died several months back - is taped prominently on the bar area. Local bars don't forget their own.

The cops showed up, but nobody was arrested.

Yup, it was a beautiful day on Fort Myers Beach, from time with the friend who invited me to a bike ride this morning (proudly rode up and over that damned bridge again without stopping or freaking out from the height) to time with friends tonight.

This was one of those days that makes you think "maybe it will be ok after all."



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