Thursday, August 20, 2009

Web Wisdom


Edits of humor and insights from the web … (yes, I have no life) …


IN THE HOUSE

How do you fold a fitted sheet?

BY THE FRIDGE

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

ON THE PHONE

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

ONLINE

LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I am out of relevant things to say.”

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page paper that I swear I did not revise.

Bad decisions make great stories.

ON THE ROAD

MapQuest needs to start their directions on #5; I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent some dick from cutting in at the front.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

IN DEATH

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

It should be your best friend’s job to delete your computer history when you die.

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