Nature's answer to Southwest Florida's wild hog problem; photo taken on River Road, next to I-75 & U.S. 41, just south of North Port, Florida. That's within an hour's drive from South Fort Myers.
It's a warm, lovely day after a long cold spell. This is welcome after a difficult week spent brooming or alienating more "friends" than I unfriended in the whole of last year.
My New Year's Resolution is simple; if your words or actions make me feel inadequate or "less than" in any way, you are ushered back to "acquaintance" status. If your actions were mean spirited or deliberate, you are out of my life.
Seth Godin's blog helped me understand the national mindset:
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2010/01/the-false-solace-of-vilification.html
Author and marketing guru Seth says:
I've never once heard someone say, "things are really lousy, but I got a chance to really devastate someone today, deliver some choice barbs, some personal attacks, some baseless innuendo and ruin their day, perhaps even their career. Boy, I feel great."
People don't remember how you behave when everything is going great. They remember how you behave when you're under pressure, stressed out and at wits end.
Emotional maturity is underrated.
He ends his blog with:
"The long term solution for marketers (and those that believe in civil society) is to make it socially unacceptable to vent like this. Acknowledge the rage but cease to engage, whenever possible."
I've been doing that. I think. OK, sometimes I get pissed.
Then again, maybe I'm more sensitive than most - I did come off seven years in an emotionally abusive relationship. Maybe I DO have more buttons than a West Point cadet.
I blogged about my first love who came to visit for five days this past December and drove me completely nuts. In the 70s he was a mega-hot Wise Guy; today he's a bloated white Republican with an almost undetectable rug who has found Jeezus and (of course) Fox News.
The two go together like ... kkk and lynch mobs.
I didn't want an old white guy in the White House; and I don't want one in mine either. They are OUT OF TOUCH.
When he was here he belittled me for being a Buddhist as compared to his having Jeezus and me the animal lover/vegetarian to his carnivore/animals belong on our plates mindset.
He had prostate cancer, so I suspect he's shooting pool with a rope; I have not been inclined to check it out. Although he wanted me to.
I locked my bedroom door at night and right now I'm throwing up in my mouth a little.
After blowing up at him at the Sunshine Cafe his last morning here, I thought ... hoped ... we were done being friends. But no, he started calling every few days again like we were an item or something. Like he has some kind of ownership.
He had a project for me, so I told me "this is business - be nice, put up with some shit." The last time I did work for him he waited a year to pay. But we were friends. So it was ok - then. Based on his constant shots, it's NO LONGER OK.
In between talking business - waste management and recycling, what else?? - he has been making subtle accusations that I'm a cougar (I never liked younger men) and he has accused me of looking for Mr. Goodbar. That outdated 70s reference is the story of a sack hopping nympho who came to a bad end. When I met him, he WAS Mr. Goodbar.
I do go out with friends and I would love to meet a wonderful man but I do NOT engage in those behaviors. I remind myself that he's overcompensating - typical behavior for a man whose oak has turned to balsa.
Like the guy on POF who came onto me. His screen name is ORALALAN.
Throwing up in my mouth a little again ...
Note to men: we see through that shit.
Well, Mr. Waste Management Recycling Professional should know a thing or two about recycling. He never heard of the plastic sea. When he was here I promised I'd send him links. This past week I was being nice, creating his recycling promotions while laughing at his shots through grinding teeth.
He called on a Sunday from a bar and told me he needed the brochures Monday morning. I called him a mothereffer and pretended I was joking. Many a truth ... we laughed.
Late Sunday night I sent his brochures as promised, then I sent him a link about the plastic sea. A link that showed birds dying of starvation from ingesting plastics that look like their natural food source. I see it as one of the planet's worst tragedies, unfolding before our very eyes.
How did he react? He wrote back that it was all well and good that I care about animals but he cares more about the people who are dying in Haiti. This is the guy who asked me if I had to choose between my granddaughters dying and my dogs dying, who would I choose. WHO ASKS A QUESTION LIKE THAT? I would choose the person who asked the question.
Well, in that one last self-righteous superior holier than thou email I was done with his shit. I sent an invoice and said pay as much as you like in monthly payments if that's convenient.
And I sent another email that said I was not a cougar, never was a cougar, that he had been Mr. Goodbar when I met him, that I was not looking for Mr. Goodbar (and in fact had "world class" sex right here from a mega hot Greek God of a guy whenever I wanted it) and that as a RECYCLING PROFESSIONAL he should know a fucking thing about the ENVIRONMENT. Although I warned him the people who CARE about it tend to be the people he hates most - animal lovers and democrats.
He responded with a few emails and I won't even open them. FUCK him. Put a fork in me, I am done.
There seems to be a theme here.
I'm on match. About a year ago I met a man who was very handsome in his photos. I drove out to see him and pretty much needed a machete to hack my way from the car to his front door. I was afraid to get out of my car. (Note photo ... it was taken pretty close to where he lives.)
He was six years older than his photo. They had been very hard years, including the big hurricane ripping through his house, hurting him (as he protected his elderly mother) and wrecking his boats and cars. The insurance company screwed him over, paying a fraction of the true damage.
He and his property look like it all happened yesterday except that he has aged at least 10 years.
And - aside from beating hearts and opposable thumbs - we had nothing in common.
This is where that accursed Michigan politeness forced me to stay JUST AS LONG as was socially acceptable. I followed him on his tour of the vegetation and inwardly beat myself up for not wearing jeans, boots and DEET. Who knew???
He had bought steaks for dinner - fairly presumptuous, but generous. I believe I lied about having other plans and said well sure, we'd have to do this again. When hell freezes over.
Did he get a clue? No. He kept writing as if I cared. (I know how mean that sounds, but "polite" should have a recommended shelf life of two weeks or something.)
For a year I have heard almost daily about the weather and the vegetation and what he's repairing. It has been horrifically boring and excruciatingly irritating. But I thought to myself "this man has no one. I should be kind."
But then we all know I'm a heartless bitch who only cares about animals.
Well, then it got cold down here. Early in the week he wrote what a bunch of assholes those people who talk about global warming are. He laughed about the polar bears and made some insulting comment about the black guy "those fools" got into the white house.
And I wrote back "Do you realize you've been talking to a liberal Buddhist Obama supporter all this time?" Note to self - just start saying that up front.
I haven't heard from him since:-)
Let me say here and now that when I cast my vote for Obama, I knew there was no way he could turn this country around in a few short years. Too much damage has been done. I also knew less intelligent people would have unrealistic expectations. I just didn't realize the social ugliness would amplify to this degree.
I finally met a fascinating guy this week - I mean really fascinating. He initiated communication. Sounds like a forensic psychologist who works with the police. He bared some of his soul and before writing back I checked his profile. His says Conservative. Mine clearly says Liberal.
I shared information and added "by the way - I'm a liberal Buddhist whose car was slathered in Obama bumper stickers pre-election.
That's the sound of crickets. Haven't heard back.
Talked to another friend today. She said "could that be the reason I get weird emails? Is it because my profile says liberal?!" And I said "yup."
I don't know whatever happened to respecting other peoples' differences. But I do know a friend is someone who makes you feel primary, not secondary - adored, not tolerated - better about yourself, not worse.
One of my last Republican friends jokes and spars while making it clear I'm someone who matters despite our differences. His take? "People are watching too much Fox or too much NBC."
I wrote back "I'm watching Celebrity Rehab because it makes me feel fortunate."
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