McSame and Saracuda; how stupid do we look to the rest of the world?

This old take on The Sixth Sense is about the only humor that fits this country in these deathly serious times.

I was on the Southwest Florida Obama board and I forwarded an email on registering young voters - for a measly $12 donation you get a free shirt. (Here's a link:)

https://pol.moveon.org/newobamatshirts/index.html?id=13949-9283835-ta6o9Tx&t=5&enc_min=UmFuZG9tSVZKVNfJ1DjuVNcvnAiF7eA%2Bp0liNwxQol4%3D-agLtdoweCfd1OBb3eQ%2FTcw

A Canadian wrote back complaining that MoveOn.org wouldn't take his information. I wrote back he should probably go to Obama's main site.

I don't know what I was thinking - it took a few email exchanges to realize HE DOESN'T EVEN LIVE IN THIS COUNTRY AND HE CARES ENOUGH TO DONATE.

So I asked him - what do Canadians think of this presidential race? This is what he wrote.

"I'll tell you what they think.....they think it's a completely disgraceful show, mostly on the part of McCain and the joke that Palin is.....I'd say the support for Obama here is very, very heavy.....over 90%...if not 95%.....I've come up with a plan for that $12.00 donation for the t-shirt.....make 3 separate donations but have them sent to my sister's and nephew's home address.....just have to confirm their complete mailing address:))).....personally my wife, my son and I can't stand to watch Palin at all.....we know all about Alaska since it was part of Canada once upon a time.....it's Eskimo country.....with a very small population....not really in touch with mainstream america......her voice annoys us to the point we have to change the channel when we hear her speaking......and as for McCain, we watch him because it's better than the stuff they have on the comedy channel!!!!!!!!!!!!!lol.......I've donated personally $250.00 towards the Obama campaign and I'm in about 35 state groups across the U.S.......this includes all the battleground states.....so when I pass blogs on they reach all 35 state groups....the internet is a wonderful tool.......to easily reach to as many people as you can.........like Florida:))!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......"

Well said my Canadian friend.

There for a while, I had forgotten the whole world has a huge stake in what happens here.

President Palin?! Holy crap, warn the young folk ...

At our ad agency we were thinking about creating a television commercial that would poke fun at "change". When we realized, to our horror, that some of our coworkers had NO IDEA McCain has tagged onto Obama's promise of change!

One of the younger account people, a favorite of mine who is about 24 years old, admitted she knew nothing about either candidate but would probably vote for Obama.

It is not enough to use your instincts or follow those you trust, our young people NEED TO KNOW WHO WE'RE UP AGAINST!

They have more years of future than most of us! They have the most to lose! So - knowing she loves animals as much as I do - I wrote ...

Sent: Thursday, September 18, 2008 10:53:38 AM
Subject: You need to know about Palin.

Obama touched my heart right off, whereas Palin struck me as gum popping big haired trailer trash; until I learned more.

You need to know how dangerous she is because there is a huge chance she will be president if the old guy is elected. I sent the following email out last week, click the link. This is the TIP OF THE ICEBERG.

Palin thinks global warming is nonsense and has full fox pelts on the walls of her office. Imagine her as president. McCain is an old cancer survivor and he looked like he was going to pass out from stress on The View. I think Whoopie wanted to castrate him ... Deepak Chopra came out and called her evil.

Please get information to your friends. It's the young voters that need to come out and protect their futures. She will change this country in ways you cannot imagine. (She is an evangelical Christian, believes we are in a holy war and is pro-life. To me, backing the war and being pro-life contradict!! I don't understand denying abortion but thinking it's ok to send young men and women to die in a stupid war??)

Your generation needs to be VERY *&%ING AFRAID. NOBODY has more at stake than your age group.

Sorry for the rant, I have lived long enough to go through nuclear drills where we hid under our desks in elementary school (like that was going to help if they dropped The Bomb) ... I have seen Kennedy die and Martin Luther King die (my step-dad marched with him) and thousands of guys from my generation die in Nam and the riots in Detroit in the sixties where my black friends had to sleep under their beds because bullets were coming through their walls and a black man stepping off the sidewalk as I approached as if Lincoln hadn't freed the slaves ... but God, I have never seen our country perched on the brink of disaster.

Click the link. That's a hint of our future with McCain and Palin.

Please spread the word.

Micki

(Forwarded.)
As governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin proposed paying a $150 bounty for the severed left foreleg of each dead wolf. She has championed aerial gunning of wolves and bears and approved a $400,000 state-funded campaign to promote this awful practice.
Learn more about Palin's record online at:
http://actionfund.defenders.org/palinvideo

As a single mom raised by a single mom ...

Palin bugs me on a lot of levels.

If I've got this right, she's for teaching abstinence (not birth control); as we can see, that's not working very well in HER houshold. Well of course not, it's unrealistic.

I wonder if I would run for vice president if I had a baby with Down's and a pregnant teenage daughter. I ask myself where her priorities are. Where her heart is.

I don't mind that she hunts, so long as she uses what she takes. I don't know a lot of women who are comfortable picking up a gun and taking a life. Women bring life into the world, they cherish it - I don't have any female friends who kill - except for one who did it to survive a winter in Northern Michigan.

A woman would do that out of necessity, to feed family; not for bloodsport. Not to "prove something" to the guys.

I have a friend in Missouri - she's taking care of her dying mother, hard pressed for money, all alone on the family farm, just the two of them.. She went fishing for dinner the other night and had to release what she caught ... "they were too beautiful". She ate cottage cheese instead.

Every strong, powerful, amazing woman I know is a NURTURER of creatures great and small, two legged and four. I know a man who said he couldn't hunt again after watching "the light go out of the deer's eyes."

I mind that she backs aerial hunting of wolves and bears. That's barbaric. But we are growing accustomed to barbarity in this country. It breaks my heart.

I mind that she ignores global warming. I worry that when my grandchildren have children, they'll have to show them where Great Grandma lived by boat with depth sounder.

I mind that in her speech she comes out attacking the man - Obama - who was so gracious in discouraging attacks on her family. Zero class.

I read that there's a scandal coming out about her having an affair with her husband's business partner.

Hypocrisy and ignorance ... this is just what I expect from a party whose priorities are wealth and power for a few.

If I fully comprehend her religious leanings, there also - salvation for a few. The rest of us? Unworthy. That's cool with me, I don't want to be part of a group like that.

It's easier to visualize Palin doing shots off the dash of a Camaro than being second in command in the White House.

MY WORST INTERNET DATE OF ALL TIME.

This is from my diary, summer of 2000, when I was still in Michigan. I went on an internet singles date SO heinous I had to document it for a sadistic friend who found pleasure in my discomfort.

On these singles sites, you post your picture and profile and get somewhat anonymous emails; it's up to you whether you want to respond or not.

This guy wrote and wanted to get acquainted.

I checked out his profile. He was a John Goodman kinda guy, based on his picture. Well, if Tom Selleck and John Goodman had a baby, so he looked pretty good, handsome in a rugged way.

Height was like 6'3". Big guy, a computer software engineer.

53 years old, new to Novi via Arizona. Working for a company that handles computerized financial systems, in management I think.

Must act kinda youngish to be in computers, right? I was in a similar biz, so we'd have a lot to talk about.

People like us make good money, right? So at least he would have decent clothes and a decent car.

I could count on that.

We began writing. He sent jokes. They were pretty funny. Then he asked if it was OK to call, and all he did was tell jokes. After two weeks of listening to his non-stop litany of dumb jokes I said "do you realize I haven't known you for two weeks?"

So he started telling me a little about himself. He was an avid rider in Arizona, had a big ranch with horses and even did mounted rescues with the sherrif's posse out there.

It was summer, so I mentioned something about kayaking alone and he said it was dangerous to do anything like that because you can get really hurt doing things where there's no one around to help you. He said that had happened when he was riding one time, and his leg was severely injured. (I believe it was nearly crushed against a tree or something.)

He started talking about his current fitness levels. Said he hadn't been working out since he got to Michigan, wasn't inspired because he had no one to work out with.

He made it sound like he was spending his weekends at his lakefront apartment entertaining chicks in bikinis. I was intimidated.

There was lots of sexual innuendo, but he actually sounded shy and hurt when I said I didn't want to meet him because his suggestive manner made me nervous.

He kept asking me to meet him. He offered to come out by me, but the voices in my head told me to meet him midway.

Finally I agreed to meet. I suggested the Barnes & Noble on M59.

My first warning should have been when he asked what he should wear. It was warm out. He said "I like to wear shorts except for the scars."

I told him I'd be wearing a peach sweater and could be found wandering through the New Age section.

So I'm in Barnes & Noble when my cell phone starts ringing. He's getting lost and calling me every 10 minutes. At one point, I was in the ladies room and started losing my cool as my fifth attempt at getting him east on 59 echoed loudly off the tile walls. This "cop" couldn't find his own ass with both hands.

He was running SO late I decide to check out the store next door. The phone rings while I'm in there. He says he has just pulled up to Barnes and Noble. I say I'll go back and meet him inside.

I'm on the sidewalk about to enter the big glass doors as I witness an aging hulk lumbering slowly towards a blonde woman in an orange sweatshirt. Think "Walk this way" with the leg dragging from Young Frankenstein.

Think Quasimodo looking for his bell ...

I thought to myself "there but for the grace of God ..."

But no. A few minutes after I pass them, I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to meet heavily wrinkled bloodshot eyes at my own level.

"Is this sweater peach?? Are you Micki?"

I ALMOST TURNED AND RAN.

I couldn't bring myself to lie and pretend to be someone else. Truth be told, I wasn't able to think that fast or I might have.

This was a very nice older guy who could barely walk. Obviously, his online photo was approximately 20 years old. He hadn't been 6'3" in a few decades either. He was sort of bent.

I could only stand there speechless so long, so I suggested dinner at one of the restaurants within spitting distance of where we stood. Forgetting, of course, that he couldn't really walk. He offered to drive me across the lot and very proudly led me to a vehicle every bit as old as the picture he submitted to the online dating service.

His sun-burnt, souped up Sunbird (?) convertible had a handicapped sticker and time-worn "Arizona Sherrif's Department" bumper sticker.

He graciously helped me with the door, partially because it was coming off the hinges and I wouldn't have been able to close it by myself.

No sooner had I settled into the passenger seat wondering if we'd be able to find a parking spot than he spun the beater around the front corner of the Don Pablo's and popped a very loud wheelie into handicapped.

I am guilty of some pride; I was absolutely mortified.

We chatted over bad Mexican and I tried not to stare at the growth between his eye and his nose. I gave dinner a polite length of time before saying I had to leave. I bravely gave him a kiss on the cheek and said ... "yeah, let's do this again."

Of course it was a lie.

I guess if there's any lesson in all this ... it's ... take everything they say and show with a grain of salt and ALWAYS MEET IN PUBLIC.

THE SINGLES BOARDS; Some suck, some don't.

I confess - I joined Match.com before I was even out of my last relationship. I got just enough attention to kick-start my fragile ego and leave an abusive situation. Then I put my membership on hold while I licked my wounds and learned to accept (even treasure) my time alone. I think I'm ok now. But who ever really knows?

Some months back friends told me about plentyoffish.com - it's free! That is one of the best singles boards going. I love that you can easily see who's single in your area and recognize them when you're out.

If you join, approach it as if you're out to make friends. That way there is no expectation, no sense of disappointment. The men complain that the women turn into penpals who are too nervous to meet.

Man or woman - be honest, post a recent photo, state your real age. Because when you meet - no matter what you think you look like - you don't look like you did ten years ago. None of us do.

I met one guy whose hair had actually turned gray since the photo was taken. He proudly said "I look just like my photo, don't I!" I said "but your hair is gray." I can tolerate gray hair - in fact I like it. What I don't like is people who are so out of touch with reality.

I belonged to eHarmony years back and that seemed ok. A friend met her last relationship there and swore by it. (Until two months ago ... those who cloak their motivations in spirituality can frequently be needy creeps!)

I gave it another try and found that it had been transformed into such a mechanized series of surveys that make everyone sound EXACTLY THE SAME. Communication is discouraged and restricted. I believe I was matched with every man in the area who had a pulse.

Most didn't post photos for some reason ... as if the fact that they are single men in Southwest Florida should be enough for any woman. Those who contacted me were old enough to be my father and didn't understand why I wanted to date within my own age group.

I quit with a vengeance. In my opinion, eHarmony is expensive and absent of ANY redeeming value.

Note - these sites have you sign up for a subscription and will AUTOMATICALLY RENEW YOU. It's in the small print. I went in and tried to remove my credit card information and it STILL managed to recharge me. I raised hell. eHarmony is among the worst.

I'm back on Match. I expect nothing. Sometimes I get fun emails.

I got an interesting contact via plentyoffish.com - on my birthday. I had just come back from Michigan, I was already missing my family and I was sad. The timing was right and his opening words blew me away. This guy seems amazing. Fascinating, brilliant - we have been clicking on all mental/philosophical levels.

We're meeting Sunday for the first time. I'm kinda excited about it. I will probably overthink and turn myself into a nervous wreck:-)

End of Life

I signed on as a hospice volunteer a year ago. I told them "let me help these people write their memoirs."

So a year later I finally get the call. She is a lovely woman, very Catholic. I'll call her Carol.

People expect hospice volunteer work to be depressing. This experience was what I expected - very much the opposite.

I knew in my heart all such visits would be completely about the individual and not about me. I felt it was a time to be silent and just listen.

But Carol sensed that I had lost someone I loved - she thought maybe my son. She could tell it was someone very close. I told her last May I lost my Gram who raised me. I told her that since she left she has rattled paintings, shaken my bed and visited me in my dreams.

I laughed and told her Gram hasn't changed a bit. Carol seemed surprised and comforted.

She told me she didn't have much time left and I told her she was at the holiest time of her life. It was a wonderful visit, but she was very frail. I expected to be able to be there an hour, but she weakened significantly after only 45 minutes.

Sunday is our day. Last Sunday I called her aide to make sure she'd be up to it. She said Carol was looking forward to the visit VERY MUCH! She would be disappointed if I couldn't make it. I assured her I would. I packed up my laptop and headed out.

When I got there Carol was indisposed. The aide was busy with her. Her son and husband were upset ... I waited 30 minutes, but the situation didn't improve. The son apologized profusely. Which was so unnecessary.

Carol is an elegant woman in her 80s - still very beautiful and mentally sharp. It pained me that she has to go through this. In my head, death is painful, like birth. (If it is painful for the mother, how can it not be painful for the infant?)

It is painful as we enter a new plane of existence.

Her son said he was sorry I had "come for nothing." I didn't feel that way.

Today I called and the aide and son picked up at the same time. It sounded like the son wanted me there, but Carol had told her aide she wasn't up to company.

Once the son hung up, the aide told me "Carol is seeing her mother clear as a bell. She says she's very beautiful. She's seeing other relatives who have passed as well and is afraid she's going crazy."

The aide told me Carol is still very much aware of what's happening in this life - knows names, knows her son and his wife just had a child.

I said "good, they're all with her. All that remains is for those who love her to tell her it's OK to go." I imagine she has mixed feelings about leaving a new grandchild.

The aide told me she had just had her own "dream visit" from a friend the night before. She said she puts her nose to Carol's nose and tells her everything will be alright.

I said "You will be the perfect angel." I gave her my number in case they want me to stop by. I don't know if Carol has any "peaks" left.

I'm a little sad I haven't had time to tell her about an experience I had that would give her great comfort.

About ten years ago I saw in the newspaper where Janet, mother of my dearest childhood friend, had died. We had all been out of touch for decades. I told my Gram we should go. The funeral was to take place at St. Leonard's at the end of my Gram's street; the street I grew up on.

The church was darkened and quiet. As we walked down the aisle to Janet's coffin, my friend's brother remembered me and enthusiastically called me by name. "Little Stevie Spurgeon" towered above me. He remembered my Gram as well. "Hello Ethel!!"

He walked us up to the coffin and said "she's in a better place."

A lifelong smoker, she had died of lung cancer.

My Gram said "what do you mean 'better place' - SHE'S DEAD!" I was mortified, but I knew she was in great fear of death. It's amazing how many people who have been religious all their lives are fearful towards the end. There is such a huge difference between being religious and being spiritual.

There were about 30 mourners at the funeral. As I said, lights were dim ... I kept having a problem with my eyes (this never happens) ... I kept seeing rainbows around all the lights and candles. I remember blinking hard to make it go away - but it didn't. This went on for some time.

After the service, my childhood girlfriend told me her father had died a few years earlier. He was deeply spiritual and had trained for the priesthood before meeting Janet. They would go on to have five children.

My friend told me he was so spiritual he saw "death" as "his next big adventure." He promised when he got to the other side, he would send rainbows.

I can't think about it now without smiling.

Maybe I'll still get a chance to tell Carol about it; but - either way - I know she's in good hands on both sides.