THE SINGLES BOARDS; Some suck, some don't.

I confess - I joined Match.com before I was even out of my last relationship. I got just enough attention to kick-start my fragile ego and leave an abusive situation. Then I put my membership on hold while I licked my wounds and learned to accept (even treasure) my time alone. I think I'm ok now. But who ever really knows?

Some months back friends told me about plentyoffish.com - it's free! That is one of the best singles boards going. I love that you can easily see who's single in your area and recognize them when you're out.

If you join, approach it as if you're out to make friends. That way there is no expectation, no sense of disappointment. The men complain that the women turn into penpals who are too nervous to meet.

Man or woman - be honest, post a recent photo, state your real age. Because when you meet - no matter what you think you look like - you don't look like you did ten years ago. None of us do.

I met one guy whose hair had actually turned gray since the photo was taken. He proudly said "I look just like my photo, don't I!" I said "but your hair is gray." I can tolerate gray hair - in fact I like it. What I don't like is people who are so out of touch with reality.

I belonged to eHarmony years back and that seemed ok. A friend met her last relationship there and swore by it. (Until two months ago ... those who cloak their motivations in spirituality can frequently be needy creeps!)

I gave it another try and found that it had been transformed into such a mechanized series of surveys that make everyone sound EXACTLY THE SAME. Communication is discouraged and restricted. I believe I was matched with every man in the area who had a pulse.

Most didn't post photos for some reason ... as if the fact that they are single men in Southwest Florida should be enough for any woman. Those who contacted me were old enough to be my father and didn't understand why I wanted to date within my own age group.

I quit with a vengeance. In my opinion, eHarmony is expensive and absent of ANY redeeming value.

Note - these sites have you sign up for a subscription and will AUTOMATICALLY RENEW YOU. It's in the small print. I went in and tried to remove my credit card information and it STILL managed to recharge me. I raised hell. eHarmony is among the worst.

I'm back on Match. I expect nothing. Sometimes I get fun emails.

I got an interesting contact via plentyoffish.com - on my birthday. I had just come back from Michigan, I was already missing my family and I was sad. The timing was right and his opening words blew me away. This guy seems amazing. Fascinating, brilliant - we have been clicking on all mental/philosophical levels.

We're meeting Sunday for the first time. I'm kinda excited about it. I will probably overthink and turn myself into a nervous wreck:-)