The photo I’m using for this blog is Rick, Handler at the Skunk Ape Research Headquarters. (From December of 2008.) He wanted me to hear what an alligator’s “hiss” sounds like.
I have been hooked on Skunk Ape ever since.
Thank you Rick, I will never forget these visits!
Sunday, 1/24/09...
I haven’t seen my friend Annabel Cohen in about seven years. I fully believe she is a closet goy. Up until this day, I had no idea to what extent. She is a BIG TIME closet goy.
We reunited on Facebook, where we’ve been hanging out, chattering a bit. She told me she’s been staying with her family in West Palm Beach for the past month or so. She wanted to get together. Most people say that shit. Annabel means it.
A couple hours drive apart is way better than the 1450 miles to Bloomfield Hills, Michigan - where she lives. So one thing leads to another and I tell her about the Skunk Ape Research Center.
Now mind you, Annabel is a semi-celebrity author/caterer with cooking shows and celebrity connections in Detroit and her family is … well, you don’t get to West Palm by being poor.
Damned if Annabel wasn’t TOTALLY ENTHUSED about the notion of going to the Skunk Ape Research Headquarters. We arranged to meet on Sunday and I was looking forward to it.
I went to bed on Saturday night after a night of INCREDIBLE fun at Jimmie B’s on Fort Myers Beach. (Fodder for a later blog.)
I have been hooked on Skunk Ape ever since.
Thank you Rick, I will never forget these visits!
Sunday, 1/24/09...
I haven’t seen my friend Annabel Cohen in about seven years. I fully believe she is a closet goy. Up until this day, I had no idea to what extent. She is a BIG TIME closet goy.
We reunited on Facebook, where we’ve been hanging out, chattering a bit. She told me she’s been staying with her family in West Palm Beach for the past month or so. She wanted to get together. Most people say that shit. Annabel means it.
A couple hours drive apart is way better than the 1450 miles to Bloomfield Hills, Michigan - where she lives. So one thing leads to another and I tell her about the Skunk Ape Research Center.
Now mind you, Annabel is a semi-celebrity author/caterer with cooking shows and celebrity connections in Detroit and her family is … well, you don’t get to West Palm by being poor.
Damned if Annabel wasn’t TOTALLY ENTHUSED about the notion of going to the Skunk Ape Research Headquarters. We arranged to meet on Sunday and I was looking forward to it.
I went to bed on Saturday night after a night of INCREDIBLE fun at Jimmie B’s on Fort Myers Beach. (Fodder for a later blog.)
I woke at 10 a.m. feeling like someone had jammed cotton wads up my nostrils. That was about the time I should have been leaving to meet her. I immediately grabbed the phone to give her a call – only to discover my voice was gone. I squeaked out enough information to tell her I was on my way.
Under normal circumstances I would have just done a whore bath and run, but I had actually pulled an old Annabel trick; I double-booked. I had a match date with a German guy in Naples on my way back.
So I showered, grabbed spare clothes (remembering how dirty I got last time I went to Skunk Ape) and rushed, absolutely terrified to leave her at the center without supervision.
I was about 45 minutes late and the Big Guy at the front desk said “you’re late.” I rushed through the gate to find Annabel was enjoying herself immensely. She was with a small family from Marco Island who said that out of all they had done during their stay, Skunk Ape was the most fun.
Their children – in fact the whole family – was ENTHRALLED.
Seeing Annabel at Skunk Ape was a total hoot. Poor Rick, I have to wonder what he was thinking. You get the sense he likes the critters way more than the people anyway. He has pet names for some of them ... Annabel wants him to name an alligator for her.
“Annabel the Alligator.” That became a common theme throughout our tour.
Annabel asked Rick how much shed reptile skin it would take to make a purse. He opened a snake crate to pull some out and let her feel it. And explained you have to kill the snake to make a purse, so she changed the subject.
We walked outside to another area (that I did not know existed), wherein he pulled a GIANT soft shelled tortoise out of a pond to show Annabel the belly … I know she's wondering how many people it would serve when she comes out with “I’ll bet he’s delicious.”
Rick made a 5’ gator purr. The gator wasn't happy, it was more like "get the eff away from me" ... it sounded like a tiger's purr.
We went into the emu enclosure and there were large shells everywhere … like they’d been gorging on giant escargot. Annabel started collecting them … I got two. Monkey see, monkey do. (I collect shells everywhere I go anyway.)
Then to the birds … and I am in heaven. Rick gave us more information … he said birds remember people who hold them. He didn’t remember me until I told him DoDo gacked on me (fed me) and he said “that’s right – he’s never done that with anyone else.”
If only I could find a guy like that ... sans gack ...
DoDo melted into me like butter, his little talons gently hanging onto my fingers. That is my favorite photo in years, I'm probably going to use it for this blog.
Annabel handled the fancier birds and Rick got one of the great vibrantly colored variety to spread wings for a photo. She has not sent that yet!!! I can’t wait to have it!
She was wearing black and had bird dander all over her.
Anyway, I am totally in heaven around the critters. It was a warm day, the enormous pythons were stretching full-length in their enclosures and I wasn’t even creeped out. It was all very peaceful. Like the Garden of Eden must have been.
We bought Skunk Ape tees, which we will wear with pride, left donations for critter food and thanked Rick PROFUSELY. If you guys read this blog, thanks again – God Bless you all, I will be back with friends!
Here's a link to their site - http://www.skunkape.info/
Then I had to find someplace exotic for Annabel to eat. I wondered if she had ever been to a biker bar … the Iron Rhino was on our way back to I-75.
It seemed like 50 miles getting there, I’m sure it was less, but she was calling me every 5 minutes. Her in her Great White Cadillac, me leading in my Piece of Shit Saturn. (She asked how it felt to be suddenly poor and I said “it’s OK – I live in paradise.”)
We pulled up to the Iron Rhino and her eyes lit up like stars. Bikes as far as the eye could see. Hunky bikers in leather. She noted with some satisfaction that the biker babes had young bodies and old, tough faces.
Good times.
Annabel said this was the first time she'd ever been in a biker bar; at which point I noticed she was wearing PEARLS. Which felt incredibly inappropriate until I realized she'd worn them to Skunk Ape as well.
You can take Annabel out of Bloomfield, but you can't take the Princess out of Annabel.
We had burgers at a table near the window so we could see the action. I knew some of the bikers, which was hilarious. I’d met two of them the previous evening at Jimmie B’s – we got quite a laugh out of that. They were bombed at the time and had told me more about their lives than they might have shared under more sane circumstances.
My voice was so gone, I squeaked more than laughed.
Annabel and I ate, wandered, got a few biker hugs and said our good-byes.
Under normal circumstances I would have just done a whore bath and run, but I had actually pulled an old Annabel trick; I double-booked. I had a match date with a German guy in Naples on my way back.
So I showered, grabbed spare clothes (remembering how dirty I got last time I went to Skunk Ape) and rushed, absolutely terrified to leave her at the center without supervision.
I was about 45 minutes late and the Big Guy at the front desk said “you’re late.” I rushed through the gate to find Annabel was enjoying herself immensely. She was with a small family from Marco Island who said that out of all they had done during their stay, Skunk Ape was the most fun.
Their children – in fact the whole family – was ENTHRALLED.
Seeing Annabel at Skunk Ape was a total hoot. Poor Rick, I have to wonder what he was thinking. You get the sense he likes the critters way more than the people anyway. He has pet names for some of them ... Annabel wants him to name an alligator for her.
“Annabel the Alligator.” That became a common theme throughout our tour.
Annabel asked Rick how much shed reptile skin it would take to make a purse. He opened a snake crate to pull some out and let her feel it. And explained you have to kill the snake to make a purse, so she changed the subject.
We walked outside to another area (that I did not know existed), wherein he pulled a GIANT soft shelled tortoise out of a pond to show Annabel the belly … I know she's wondering how many people it would serve when she comes out with “I’ll bet he’s delicious.”
Rick made a 5’ gator purr. The gator wasn't happy, it was more like "get the eff away from me" ... it sounded like a tiger's purr.
We went into the emu enclosure and there were large shells everywhere … like they’d been gorging on giant escargot. Annabel started collecting them … I got two. Monkey see, monkey do. (I collect shells everywhere I go anyway.)
Then to the birds … and I am in heaven. Rick gave us more information … he said birds remember people who hold them. He didn’t remember me until I told him DoDo gacked on me (fed me) and he said “that’s right – he’s never done that with anyone else.”
If only I could find a guy like that ... sans gack ...
DoDo melted into me like butter, his little talons gently hanging onto my fingers. That is my favorite photo in years, I'm probably going to use it for this blog.
Annabel handled the fancier birds and Rick got one of the great vibrantly colored variety to spread wings for a photo. She has not sent that yet!!! I can’t wait to have it!
She was wearing black and had bird dander all over her.
Anyway, I am totally in heaven around the critters. It was a warm day, the enormous pythons were stretching full-length in their enclosures and I wasn’t even creeped out. It was all very peaceful. Like the Garden of Eden must have been.
We bought Skunk Ape tees, which we will wear with pride, left donations for critter food and thanked Rick PROFUSELY. If you guys read this blog, thanks again – God Bless you all, I will be back with friends!
Here's a link to their site - http://www.skunkape.info/
Then I had to find someplace exotic for Annabel to eat. I wondered if she had ever been to a biker bar … the Iron Rhino was on our way back to I-75.
It seemed like 50 miles getting there, I’m sure it was less, but she was calling me every 5 minutes. Her in her Great White Cadillac, me leading in my Piece of Shit Saturn. (She asked how it felt to be suddenly poor and I said “it’s OK – I live in paradise.”)
We pulled up to the Iron Rhino and her eyes lit up like stars. Bikes as far as the eye could see. Hunky bikers in leather. She noted with some satisfaction that the biker babes had young bodies and old, tough faces.
Good times.
Annabel said this was the first time she'd ever been in a biker bar; at which point I noticed she was wearing PEARLS. Which felt incredibly inappropriate until I realized she'd worn them to Skunk Ape as well.
You can take Annabel out of Bloomfield, but you can't take the Princess out of Annabel.
We had burgers at a table near the window so we could see the action. I knew some of the bikers, which was hilarious. I’d met two of them the previous evening at Jimmie B’s – we got quite a laugh out of that. They were bombed at the time and had told me more about their lives than they might have shared under more sane circumstances.
My voice was so gone, I squeaked more than laughed.
Annabel and I ate, wandered, got a few biker hugs and said our good-byes.
I had my date on the way back – first a drink at Uno’s, then he wanted me to see his place. A very handsome guy with a wonderful accent. There was zero chemistry, mentally or physically. Plus I think he’s probably just looking for a boff buddy.
I’m getting to like the Monastic Life. I bought a new shirt that says it all.
“Freedom.”
Freedom to go where I like with whoever I like and meet whoever I like.
“Freedom.”
Freedom to go where I like with whoever I like and meet whoever I like.
Life is very, very good.
Even "poor" is fine by me.
Even "poor" is fine by me.
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