I am SO glad I'm not a guy, a bi or a lesbian. How can people live with women?
Two of my best friends ...
the one was upset last week because the guy she was going to blow off (because he's bad in the sack) blew her off after she got into her cocktails and started drunk texting.
Seems like Wednesday is "drunk texting day". We should either confiscate her Blackberry or bust her thumbs.
The other one is on again, off again, hot, cold, full of rules and contradictions. "He didn't call, he should have called." He should do this, he should do that. I actually called her on it - I said no guy in his right mind will stand for getting mommed to death.
Two of my best friends ...
the one was upset last week because the guy she was going to blow off (because he's bad in the sack) blew her off after she got into her cocktails and started drunk texting.
Seems like Wednesday is "drunk texting day". We should either confiscate her Blackberry or bust her thumbs.
The other one is on again, off again, hot, cold, full of rules and contradictions. "He didn't call, he should have called." He should do this, he should do that. I actually called her on it - I said no guy in his right mind will stand for getting mommed to death.
Come to think of it, I haven't heard from her since. Aw crap, may have to find a new beach buddy.
She was driving an interested party insane the other night. First she wanted to dance, then she didn't want to dance. First she wanted to talk to him, then she wanted to talk to someone else - actually had her back turned to him so the poor guy was half outside, getting half-wet in the first summer rains.
He wanted to know why she was treating him so bad. He asked "did I drunk call you the other night? I looked at my phone, I don't see where I called you!" And she said no, she's been having problems with her phone.
When she took off to dance with another guy I told him "don't take it personal - she's just flighty." At which point he confessed he'd had ME in his sights before her but then I disappeared.
Chronologically, that had to be somewhere between him swearing on a stack of bibles that he had a great girlfriend and the time he found her screwing a biker in the john at his marina. (It's not easy wrapping my head around stalking a john to see what your girlfriend is doing. Then there was something about breaking the door down and kicking some ass, blah, blah, blah.)
Or maybe it was around the time he was "dating" the Rosie O'Donnell lookalike we thought was a dyke.
So in front of my friend, the object of his desire du jour, he turns to me and says "I don't even HAVE your phone number." After talking about drunk calling. No, I don't THINK so. Despite the fact that all people from Ohio are pretty damned nice at the core, NO!
It's insane. It's stupid. It's junior high.
It's entertaining:-)
(About the photo in this blog - I have no doubt whatsoever that this is EXACTLY what my mother thinks Florida is like; all snakes, alligators and realtors.)
He wanted to know why she was treating him so bad. He asked "did I drunk call you the other night? I looked at my phone, I don't see where I called you!" And she said no, she's been having problems with her phone.
When she took off to dance with another guy I told him "don't take it personal - she's just flighty." At which point he confessed he'd had ME in his sights before her but then I disappeared.
Chronologically, that had to be somewhere between him swearing on a stack of bibles that he had a great girlfriend and the time he found her screwing a biker in the john at his marina. (It's not easy wrapping my head around stalking a john to see what your girlfriend is doing. Then there was something about breaking the door down and kicking some ass, blah, blah, blah.)
Or maybe it was around the time he was "dating" the Rosie O'Donnell lookalike we thought was a dyke.
So in front of my friend, the object of his desire du jour, he turns to me and says "I don't even HAVE your phone number." After talking about drunk calling. No, I don't THINK so. Despite the fact that all people from Ohio are pretty damned nice at the core, NO!
It's insane. It's stupid. It's junior high.
It's entertaining:-)
(About the photo in this blog - I have no doubt whatsoever that this is EXACTLY what my mother thinks Florida is like; all snakes, alligators and realtors.)
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