When I walked into the agency for my first interview I saw a fully stocked bar to my left and a dog toy in the hallway.
I knew I was home.
Friday was a typical day except that we had six dogs instead of "just" five. (Parker, our Media Planner's Yorkie above.)
My Princess and Bodhi are down on the right somewhere ... Princess is gray and white, Bodhi is black and white. You need to know this because I will be talking about them further down.
We need to change our agency credentials to TV, Radio, Direct Mail and Doggy Day Care.
Our Lady of Cocktails (and company VP) was puppysitting a friend's 7 week old Imperial ShihTzu. She had had enough - the baby was barking and biting and she dumped her off in the office of an account person at the extreme end of our gulag.
I literally ran over to see it.
She is a tiny brown puppy, about the size of Bodhi when she was a baby. I asked if I could take her and Ti said BE MY GUEST. She was quite a pain in the ass.
For everyone but me.
ShihTzus are bred to be worshipped. You NEED to know that.
I established all 3 lbs. of her on my desk, where she blended in totally with my faux mahogany. I was given permission to paint my office any color and assured them I'd have it looking like an opium den in no time. It is pale lavender with beachy stuff all over the place; the antique mirror has a frame with shells I found on Sanibel - there are buddhas, candles, tarot paperbacks, a 2' stack of quote books, a dictionary bigger than my car and two plush dog beds.
Most creatives I know are cave dwellers. I like to keep my cave dimly lit. I put the puppy's chew toys, kibble and water to my left; I turned out that particular lamp so she could have darkness for sleep.
Coworkers came in with cameras wanting to take pictures but she was nearly invisible.
I put a towel in under her and cuddled her between my pillowy bosom of despair and my computer; she was sleeping with her chin on my arm ... and typing was a bitch.
She got somewhat restless occasionally and seemed to enjoy stepping on my keyboard. I didn't lose any files, but she added excessive spacing to my radio scripts and climbed a pile of papiers to pee on my To Do List; which was fine by me.
When she started biting (teething) I told her NO! She growled and barked. There is nothing funnier than something that cute and that small attempting to be menacing.
The company owner came in to talk and leaned over to nuzzle her. Sometimes I think to myself that is just the greatest place in the world to work; at other times I think it will eat my brain. (Actually, at this age, the constant barrage of information is probably HELPING it.)
Princess may have had puppies before because she was cool with this little one. Bodhi looked at me ... no, she couldn't even bring herself to look at me. She was in a ShihTzu rage, which is quite like a Finnish Rage, just as silent except you can't tell if she's pouting because she doesn't have jowls. Or if she does, the beard hides them.
I was bummed when the owner came for the baby. I bond too quickly ...
The day was nearly over when our associates from another company walked in ... and The Queen of Cocktails lived up to her name. I decided to join them for once and we had a fine time. I immediately picked up on obscure Sam Kinison references and decided they might be ok after all.
The Queen talked about entering a dancing contest and I asked if there would be poles. (Made one of the "other" guys snort their drink.)
After the boys left it turned into a henfest. Me, The Queen and our Business Manager decided to have "one more". The BM wanted to know what was going on in the pants - shaved, unshaved, Brazilian ... I said I'm a Democrat, NO MORE BUSH!!! (Our proverbial and actual 300 lb. black guy had joined us by then and we high-fived.) Then I clarified - why mow the lawn when nobody's coming over to play.
I only had two drinks but the hangover was nearly immediate. Stopped at Burger King for ground cow flesh and felt like a total asshole.
Saturday morning I got to catch up on my Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert. On election night I was glued to MSNBC, I could not handle commercials. So I missed Stewart/Colbert's Indecision 2008. I caught it yesterday.
My favorite part was John Oliver's report .. he said the economy is so bad Americans are sending scam emails to Nigerian princes. Said we owe China so much money the Chinese are now legally entitled to own us as pets.
Samantha B reported from McCain headquarters, where they were claiming Obama had released flesh eating bacteria into children's juice boxes.
When the election results were made final, it was clear that Stewart and Colbert were holding back tears. It was so cool.
I think you can still see it at indecision2008.com
In my own ongoing saga of financial hardship, my dentist is holding my new crown hostage. I lost part of a tooth to a fresh, delicious tortilla chip at Iguana Mia last winter, leaving a blackened stub on my upper left; I had to stop smiling for nine months. Now I have to wait maybe two paydays until I can get the temporary removed and the permanent applied. My fingers are crossed that the temporary will hold.
This is weird. At yoga yesterday I got a cramp and Mistress Sondra told us that the accupressure solution is to press the area between the bottom of your nose and top of your upper lip. It works!
This is disturbing. I read in "Psychologies" that we are approximately 15% less attractive than we think we are. I'm gonna need a bigger closet .. or burkas.
And I have two major word quandaries ...
WHERE DID "VETTED" COME FROM!? If you're going to invent a new word, you need to TELL people. At Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, the animals that were running for Mayor were all "Vetted" but that makes SENSE.
Well, maybe the word came about when McCain selected the pit bull ... I like to think she's back on the leash now. Sorry about your luck, now go learn to be a nice person.
And who on earth named the latest James Bond movie. "Quantum of Solace"?! What the FUCK. Whoever chose that name assumed most Americans have dictionaries. I doubt they do.
Still, this new Bond is really hot so my point is moot.
Today is sand sculptures out at the beach, but the snowbirds are back in force. I don't know if it's going to be worth sitting in traffic.
Happy Birthday RM if you're still reading this. Have a safe trip down.
I knew I was home.
Friday was a typical day except that we had six dogs instead of "just" five. (Parker, our Media Planner's Yorkie above.)
My Princess and Bodhi are down on the right somewhere ... Princess is gray and white, Bodhi is black and white. You need to know this because I will be talking about them further down.
We need to change our agency credentials to TV, Radio, Direct Mail and Doggy Day Care.
Our Lady of Cocktails (and company VP) was puppysitting a friend's 7 week old Imperial ShihTzu. She had had enough - the baby was barking and biting and she dumped her off in the office of an account person at the extreme end of our gulag.
I literally ran over to see it.
She is a tiny brown puppy, about the size of Bodhi when she was a baby. I asked if I could take her and Ti said BE MY GUEST. She was quite a pain in the ass.
For everyone but me.
ShihTzus are bred to be worshipped. You NEED to know that.
I established all 3 lbs. of her on my desk, where she blended in totally with my faux mahogany. I was given permission to paint my office any color and assured them I'd have it looking like an opium den in no time. It is pale lavender with beachy stuff all over the place; the antique mirror has a frame with shells I found on Sanibel - there are buddhas, candles, tarot paperbacks, a 2' stack of quote books, a dictionary bigger than my car and two plush dog beds.
Most creatives I know are cave dwellers. I like to keep my cave dimly lit. I put the puppy's chew toys, kibble and water to my left; I turned out that particular lamp so she could have darkness for sleep.
Coworkers came in with cameras wanting to take pictures but she was nearly invisible.
I put a towel in under her and cuddled her between my pillowy bosom of despair and my computer; she was sleeping with her chin on my arm ... and typing was a bitch.
She got somewhat restless occasionally and seemed to enjoy stepping on my keyboard. I didn't lose any files, but she added excessive spacing to my radio scripts and climbed a pile of papiers to pee on my To Do List; which was fine by me.
When she started biting (teething) I told her NO! She growled and barked. There is nothing funnier than something that cute and that small attempting to be menacing.
The company owner came in to talk and leaned over to nuzzle her. Sometimes I think to myself that is just the greatest place in the world to work; at other times I think it will eat my brain. (Actually, at this age, the constant barrage of information is probably HELPING it.)
Princess may have had puppies before because she was cool with this little one. Bodhi looked at me ... no, she couldn't even bring herself to look at me. She was in a ShihTzu rage, which is quite like a Finnish Rage, just as silent except you can't tell if she's pouting because she doesn't have jowls. Or if she does, the beard hides them.
I was bummed when the owner came for the baby. I bond too quickly ...
The day was nearly over when our associates from another company walked in ... and The Queen of Cocktails lived up to her name. I decided to join them for once and we had a fine time. I immediately picked up on obscure Sam Kinison references and decided they might be ok after all.
The Queen talked about entering a dancing contest and I asked if there would be poles. (Made one of the "other" guys snort their drink.)
After the boys left it turned into a henfest. Me, The Queen and our Business Manager decided to have "one more". The BM wanted to know what was going on in the pants - shaved, unshaved, Brazilian ... I said I'm a Democrat, NO MORE BUSH!!! (Our proverbial and actual 300 lb. black guy had joined us by then and we high-fived.) Then I clarified - why mow the lawn when nobody's coming over to play.
I only had two drinks but the hangover was nearly immediate. Stopped at Burger King for ground cow flesh and felt like a total asshole.
Saturday morning I got to catch up on my Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert. On election night I was glued to MSNBC, I could not handle commercials. So I missed Stewart/Colbert's Indecision 2008. I caught it yesterday.
My favorite part was John Oliver's report .. he said the economy is so bad Americans are sending scam emails to Nigerian princes. Said we owe China so much money the Chinese are now legally entitled to own us as pets.
Samantha B reported from McCain headquarters, where they were claiming Obama had released flesh eating bacteria into children's juice boxes.
When the election results were made final, it was clear that Stewart and Colbert were holding back tears. It was so cool.
I think you can still see it at indecision2008.com
In my own ongoing saga of financial hardship, my dentist is holding my new crown hostage. I lost part of a tooth to a fresh, delicious tortilla chip at Iguana Mia last winter, leaving a blackened stub on my upper left; I had to stop smiling for nine months. Now I have to wait maybe two paydays until I can get the temporary removed and the permanent applied. My fingers are crossed that the temporary will hold.
This is weird. At yoga yesterday I got a cramp and Mistress Sondra told us that the accupressure solution is to press the area between the bottom of your nose and top of your upper lip. It works!
This is disturbing. I read in "Psychologies" that we are approximately 15% less attractive than we think we are. I'm gonna need a bigger closet .. or burkas.
And I have two major word quandaries ...
WHERE DID "VETTED" COME FROM!? If you're going to invent a new word, you need to TELL people. At Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, the animals that were running for Mayor were all "Vetted" but that makes SENSE.
Well, maybe the word came about when McCain selected the pit bull ... I like to think she's back on the leash now. Sorry about your luck, now go learn to be a nice person.
And who on earth named the latest James Bond movie. "Quantum of Solace"?! What the FUCK. Whoever chose that name assumed most Americans have dictionaries. I doubt they do.
Still, this new Bond is really hot so my point is moot.
Today is sand sculptures out at the beach, but the snowbirds are back in force. I don't know if it's going to be worth sitting in traffic.
Happy Birthday RM if you're still reading this. Have a safe trip down.
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